I just miss you. Every aspect of you. I miss your smile, your eyes, your presence. I just want to see you. I want to hug you so bad. I’m still not over you. I STILL like you. But I never see you…. Ever. Why do I still like you though? … I don’t know. It’s stupid. Every time I hear a story about you, I honestly just want to sit down and cry. You’ve broken my heart. Not intentionally. Just because I can never see you. You seriously still mean everything to me. 

I miss you so much.

I just can’t take it.

I miss you alot. I kinda forgot who you were. But I still like you….

I’ve found someone else to like at the moment though. 

He’s sweet. 

I fell for him very quickly.

But he’s great.

I don’t have a chance with him.

But I never had a chance with you. So, no change there. 

I do miss you though. I miss your hugs, and I miss your voice.

Hope to see you soon.

-Lauren. 

It’s gotten to the point where I just want to see you. I want one “Hey”. I don’t care if it has any emotion. If you don’t even look at me. I just want ONE acknowledgement.

Holy. shit.

You just messaged me on facebook. Weirdest moment of my life. SO HAPPY(:

It’s amazing how much that just boosted my mood.  

… I guess it’s just cause I haven’t really talked to you…

until last night. It was a great conversation, you haven’t been that enthusiastic to talk to me until then. I’m so glad when I told you I missed you, you said you missed me too. I didn’t really expect anything. But, I’m so glad you said it back. I still like you a lot, but I really like this other guy too…

I don’t know. My emotions are really confusing right now… /:

I’m not sure when I’ll see him again. But I really miss him. Knowing he mentioned me the other day, just makes me so happy. I think he misses me. I hope he misses me. Definitely not as much as I miss him I’m sure. But let’s hope this new guy helps a little:) 

Well, there’s this new guy… I’m not sure how I feel about him right now. But I feel like I would like a chance with him. Right now I’m trying not to start out in a friend mode. Because if I get rejected there will be no excuse for us being friends. So, right now I’m just trying to be really flirty. He has a great personality… Not the best body, but… He’s a cutie. I’d like to get to know him better.

Only a select few will know what this post is about…

But I REALLY miss this person. ALOT. This person was the only one that made me happy. This person helped me get over Troy, a little. But when I didn’t see this person anymore, I liked Troy as much as before. I wish I could see this person more, a lot more. Cause honestly I want to be with this person, so bad…

I want to erase him from my memory. He doesn’t care about me. He never did and he never will. I want to tell him everything, from the complete bottom of my heart. I don’t know when I’ll be over him. I’m beginning to cry while typing this. I love him so much, it honestly hurts to type this, and know that I’ll never get that chance. I’ll never get that chance to be completely in your arms. No one elses. Just yours. I really hope you find what you’re looking for Troy. I know it’s not me. I know I’m not what anyone’s looking for. I won’t find anyone like you Troy, ever. You mean the world to me and more. I’m so scared Troy. I don’t want to ever lose you, and you’re not even mine. You’re gonna forget about me soon. You’ll meet other “bestfriends”. I’m gonna miss that title… That title that was literally, mine. I’m gonna miss our talks, about the girls you liked. No, it wasn’t a topic I liked to talk about… But it got us to talk. Troy Lake, I don’t know if the place in my heart for you will ever be replaced. 

Please know, I will never forget you. Even after all the pain you’ve caused me, you will always be the Troy Lake I fell in love with. 

& I love you… So much, Troy.

I hope one day I’ll give you the link to this blog. Just so you know, how much.♥